Stories On Style | Sarah Hoover

Photo Credit: Beowulf Sheehan

I’m delighted to introduce this month’s Stories On Style guest, Sarah Hoover. Sarah is a writer, cultural critic, and former Gagosian director. She is the bestselling author of the memoir The Motherload, soon to be adapted into what will undoubtedly be a popular television series, and the mother to your two children, Guy and Winifred.

She is a total inspiration. Her honest and deeply raw first-hand account of living with postpartum depression is so very brave and will continue to help so many women who will be eternally grateful.

Join us as we talk about all things motherhood, five essentials every mother needs and how Sarah will be spending Mother’s Day this year.

Celia X

Balance

Sarah! Thank you so much for speaking with us. What made you want to write about your own experience of motherhood in those early days?

Sarah: I guess I just had to write the book I wished that I had been able to find for myself.

I was so lonely as a new mom. I thought I was a complete freak, a failure of a woman, and surely the worst mom to ever exist—I mean, I didn’t find any joy in motherhood, and I didn’t even like my baby. I thought I was a monster.

Once I’d been through a lot of therapy and healing and was able to look back at that time with reflection, I realized how actually unwell I had been. But I remembered just feeling so terrible…and looking EVERYWHERE for a book or movie or tv show that would help me understand why I was feeling that way. I got this idea in my head that if I could write something that would really explain, super honestly, what I had been through, that it might help even one other woman feel less alone and less monstrous.

Best piece of advice to mothers struggling after childbirth? There truly is light at the end of the tunnel, and the tunnel isn’t as long as you think it is. I remember thinking to myself “this is my life now, forever, and I hate it.” I had worked so hard to build an adult existence for myself that I wanted - in regards to career, relationship, hobbies, the way I spent my time. And I felt like the minute I got pregnant and had a baby, that whole existence was swept away, never to be seen again. The reality is I did get back to a version of that life - but even better - with a better version of me. Yes it took committed work and intention, but I truly believe almost any person is capable of getting to that happier and better place. The dark days really do end if you hone and listen to your intuition, ask for help, and commit any resource you can towards therapy and mental health practices.

How do you strike the balance between work and motherhood? Not well. I mourn this fact that I’m trying to come to terms with, which is that there’s simply never going to be enough time for both. At a certain point you’re going to have to choose one over the other. Isn’t that profoundly unfair? It’s heartbreaking.

My new thing is that I try to be a very present and involved parent for a few weeks at a time, and then I let my husband manage child care and I take myself on “work retreats” where I spend a few days doing nothing but creative work —no child care or mom-ing at all. This is what I have to do right now, at this juncture, because I’m in the middle of some large creative projects that require a lot of alone and quiet time—i can’t just hop in and work on them for a few hours a day, broken up by kid time. I need long stretches to accomplish what I need to accomplish.

I think the idea of blending is really messy. I don’t like to be on my phone around my kids, or feel pulled towards work when I’m with them or towards them when I’m working. It’s not functional for me. It means doing both things badly and distractedly.

Family Time

Favourite family activity? Breakfast before school. I’m a short order cook and I love it. There isn’t much that I feel great at as a mom, or when I know I’m nailing being maternal. But when I fill those cute little bellies up with mediocre scrambled eggs, and listen to them chatter, and know I’m sending them off to school well-fed, I feel like Mary Poppins herself. But hotter.

Five essentials every mother needs?

Alone time x five? Five days a week where your husband sleeps separately? Five sets of hands to help you clean up after the children that you yourself have spoiled and not trained to clean up well cause you love them too much to know how to do anything even mildly related to discipline? Ok but for real: a coterie diaper subscription, triple paste, aquafor, a large luxury purse filled with child friendly snacks, Water Wipes.

How will you be spending Mother’s Day this year?

First I want to work out, and then I want to spend the entire day with my kids—not looking at my phone or any sort of screen. I want to get totally lost in play time with them. I want to be mind numbingly but blissfully bored at the park. I want them to cover me with pasta sauce at an early dinner where I mostly just sweat while cleaning up their usual havoc. I want two glasses of wine and a Diet Coke. I want to fall asleep with both of them in my bed.

What’s the most important piece of advice you and your husband want to pass onto your children?

To never forget how passionate they are about the things they love, and find a way to make those passions their entire life as adults. I loved writing and story telling and the arts as a kid, and it took me a long time of unlearning all the ways I’m “supposed” to be an adult to find myself back here, writing as a career.

Style

We love your style – what is your approach to dressing? Both your own wardrobe and the children’s.

For me, I want to always feel like myself. And that has really meant dressing like I have since I was twelve or thirteen. The price point has changed, the access has changed, but the style really has not. I am a 90s school girl through and through.

Do you think your style has changed since having your children?

I’ve leaned even farther in to allowing my true self to come out, for better or for worse. That and I don’t wear crop tops, because unfortunately the area around my belly button looks like a very old man’s face.

Go-to gift ideas for a new arrival? For both parents (!) and their littlest arrival!

One of my dear friends gave me an adorable pink baby hair brush with Freddy’s name on it when she was born and I’ve now adopted that as such a cute and not too expensive gift. For a new mom I always think food and champagne is nice, with a note that says “you are formally relieved from thank you card writing duty. You have a newborn and you’re too busy for that shit, do not waste time on a note!” Sending over something a new mom can indulge in and eat in the first days back from the hospital—soups, bagels and lox, cheeseboards and the like is really fun.

Three items you always have in your handbag.

I don’t usually carry a handbag. I like to shove my AirPods, chapstick and an extra phone battery in my pocket and really wing it, live on the edge! But if I do have a bag I pack my ever-present journal, a Kulfi lip stain oil, and a book, so that I don’t stare mindlessly at my phone screen. I read at least one book a week.

The Motherload by Sarah - Avaliable 04/21/26

We would love to hear how you plan to style the children for the following occasions?

For Mother’s Day Lunch - The dress from Nicky’s collection with the kitty kat whiskers on the collar—the most darling, sweet, playful and inspired detail—must make an appearance at my Mother’s Day lunch. It would be so cute on my Freddy girl!!! Of course paired with the beautiful sweater with bows on it.

For a Spring play date - I let my Fred wear almost all of her dresses to play date type occasions - I don’t mind if she gets them a little messy or dirty as long as they aren’t silk or velvet—I wash them anyway so why not let her get her wear out of them? Especially since kids grow out of their beautiful little clothes so quickly. The Jana pinafore dress is truly my dream dress for her to play in, and every time i click on this link I squeal. It’s a reflex I can’t seem to help.